Welcome to Life After Death Virtual Classroom!
My name is Aryssa Joel. Thanks so much for clicking to not only learn more about Life After Death, but learning the tools that can help you learn how to get over the loss of a loved one. Life After Death was created after a tragedy that forever changed my life. At the age of twelve, my father was killed in head-on collision by a drunk driver. I was blessed with amazing friends and family who supported me. Letting me know that it was okay to feel the emotions I was encountering. However, I realized that not everyone has the support. That is why this program was created. It teaches you 5 stages that helps you learn how to grieve.
Lets get started Click Below to learn about each stage.
Grief is Universal
At some point in your life, there will be at least an encounter with grief. It may be from the death of a loved one, the loss of a job, the end of a relationship, or any other change that alters life as you know it. Grief is also very personal. It doesn’t follow any timelines or schedules. You may cry, get angry, withdrawn, feel empty, but none of these things are unusual or wrong. Everyone grieves differently, but there are commonalities in these stages of feelings that are experienced during grief.
Stage 1: Denial
The dictionary definition of denial is “the action of declaring something to be untrue.”
I was definitely in denial when I heard the news about the loss of my father.
My mom, sister and I we’re on vacation; while he was back home working.
i just kept telling myself it’s all a bad dream when i get home he will still be there.
The reason for why we resort to denying during a loss is because it gives you time to gradually absorb the news and begin to process it. This is a common defense mechanism and helps numb you to the situation.
Stage 2: Anger
The dictionary definition of anger is, “a strong feeling of displeasure, hostility or annoyance.”
No one is perfect and I definitely felt angry when I heard the news. I remember my body turning red and wanting to punch anything or everything in sight. I had words that I wanted to project that I shouldn’t. I had different scenarios in my head about how me feeling this way would make the situation better than to feel the actual pain.
The stage of anger is a masking effect. Anger is hides many emotions and pain that you feel. This anger may be redirected at other people or situations. Anger can also mask itself in feelings like bitterness or resentment.
It may not be clear, fury or rage. Anger can also come and go.
As for me, I still have this feeling sometimes. To think about all the things that I didn’t get to do with my dad learning how to drive car with him, him not seeing me go t prom, graduating high school and college and how he’s not going to be there to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day.
Stage 3: Bargaining
The dictionary definition of bargaining, “negotiate the terms and conditions of a transaction.”
For months, I was in this stage I would ask the Lord If I give you this, or do this, or I promise to try this just to get my dad back I would do anything. This stage for me was one of the hardest, because I wanted to and convinced myself that I could move mountains to somehow magically have my father back.
With the bargaining stage you may feel vulnerable and helpless. In those moments of intense emotions, it’s not uncommon to look for ways to regain control or to want to feel like you can affect the outcome of an event.
Bottom line this stage of bargaining is a line of defense against the emotions of grief. It helps you postpone the sadness, confusion, or hurt.
Stage 4: Depression
The dictionary definition of depression is, “feelings of severe despondency and dejection.”
Being depressed for me was something that I felt like no one had ever seen me feel. I felt that this was the longest and hardest stage for me as an individual. I just wanted to lay and not feel the world. The situation was becoming to overbearing for me as I realized he wasn’t around anymore.
In the early stages of loss, you are trying to run away from emotions. However, at this point you are starting to embrace and work through the pain in a more healthful manner.
You may also choose to isolate yourself from others in order to fully cope with the loss. That doesn’t mean, however, that depression is easy or well defined. Depression can be difficult and messy. It can feel overwhelming. You may feel foggy, heavy, and confused.
However, if you feel stuck here or can’t seem to move past this stage of grief, talk with a mental health expert. As they can help you work through this period of coping.
Stage 5: Acceptance
The dictionary definition of acceptance is “the action of consenting to receive or undertake something offered.”
Today, I have to say that I have never got over the loss but I have accepted the loss of my dad. Even though I feel like this stage is the hardest to swallow. I have found avenues in life that have made me feel like I am still connected to him. One of them being dance. I poured my heart into 25 hours of dance a week to cope with his loss. Knowing that it was a way to express myself as well as feel him because it was one of my dad’s favorite things to do.
Acceptance is not necessarily a happy or uplifting stage of grief.
It doesn’t mean you’ve moved past the grief or loss. It does, however, mean that you’ve accepted it and have come to understand what it means to live your life now.
Overall, understanding grief is realizing that no one will ever experience the same thing. Grief is personal, and you might feel something different every time. You may need several weeks, months, or it may take you years. But, If you decide you need help coping, contact a mental health professional. However, If want a way to have an opportunity to share your story with me and have a friend with a listening ear. I would love to hear and connect with you In the box below. You can even book me for an event, classroom or individual one on one time. Where I can come in an educate individuals by giving them the tools they need to learn how to cope with the loss of a love one. because of my occupation as a flight attendant, At the end of my course, I love to reward each individual with a wings pendant as a symbolic resemblance of the loved ones who received their wings first. I can’t wait to hear your story